5/10/2018

Blog Pause

I just lost hope in humanity & my self
when you fall trough the cracks as I have.
No one listens and turn there backs, 
breaks your heart.
Im just a good man,
wanting a fighting chance,
build a home make the world a bit better.
Nothing more I can do but to pray and wait
so hard to try rely on others kindness alone...

My life is in shambles and rock bottom.
I sink further and further away from everything,
its my last outcry to get a footing and start over.
Due to a breakdown that lasted for 2 years after a breakup,
Ending that relationship broke me down to edge of insanity
and near death as I tried suicide, lay unconscious alone.
Manage by grace to pull myself out of it,
now standing in ruins,
lost everything, all alone after these years.

Now ready to startover but all is in ash,
not even plates to eat on
or for that matter nothing to even cook with.
All you take for granted I dont have anymore,
Got like pair of pants & shoes, no television
not even a micro or vacuum cleaner.
No credit score and the swedish state + social well fair wont help.

Have now dysthymia / chronic depression and other symptoms
that doctors say I just have to live with.
Working days are over,
the pension is just for the basics to live,
not enough to start a whole new life with and start over.
Even over a year of hard daily gym workout is gone,
was at my peak body, now my obesity come back with vengeance.
My 3 kids just have to see there father sink more and more.
Cant take them home or even do things with them anymore.
Ive tried it all, no way out as Im alone in this,
I was a good man and now
all just ending in either hospital, homeless or worse.

Always believe anything is possible,
Growing up, my imagination was my only escape to deal with my upbringing,
was the lonely kid who make-believe spaceships going on adventures alone.
Then came computers and had another level of escape.
Been gaming for over 40+ years
Always been the over creative type, anything creative.
Now its hard to put passion into anything,
tried to get back into TwitchTv and Youtube etc
But everything just falling apart.

Ive cornered myself into a situation out of my control,
even one year of daily hard workout getting my body perfect
now gone and my obesity is back with vengeance.
Its why I ask so much to get help,
rebuild my home to have solid ground,
else I soon be in hospital or worse.

Please help,
even small donation gives hope !

Can send direct to my bank SwedBank
 BIC : SWEDSESS   IBAN:  SE1980000816950036111557

Or direct to my PayPal

You can also help buy gifts trough Amazon
Giving my a fighting chance to earn a living.
http://a.co/ixihRVa

For contact mail:  majgubbe@gmail.com

Shall video blog & youtube
if I get out of this, cant without your help

Most of the blog is offline...

sign
Erik Andersson, Sweden
aKa RogueNerdy